Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Topics: criminals, cheque

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

image for Cheques Bounce Back - Crooks Celebrate!
Reprieved! Hurrah!

Cheques have been saved following a public outcry and the intervention of MPs.

The Payments Council, which represents banks and payment groups, yesterday announced that plans to scrap them have been dropped. They were due to be banned from October 31, 2018, but they will now continue to be used "for as long as customers need them".

Council chairman, Richard North, said the decision to reprieve the payment method had been made after consultation with more than 600 stakeholder groups.

And Tory MP David Ruffley, a member of the Treasury Select Committee said the move was "a victory for middle England."

Local businessman Vern "Knocker" Tin added: "Ho yus! This is a great relief to all the honest, 'ard-workin' con-men and grifters up and dahn the country.

"You can't expect these gents to knock on some old biddy's door and get 'er to 'and over a grand for her essential roofin' repairs wiv a chip'n'pin card, they don't 'ave the tech.

"Nah, you needs the old gels to 'ave chequebooks. Long may they live, says I!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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