Written by Michael Balton
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Monday, 6 June 2011

image for Steve Jobs to Personally Negotiate with St. Peter for the Rights to "iCloud"
Will God bite on Apple's offer?

Apple CEO Steve Jobs is hastening his arrival at the Pearly Gates, so he can personally negotiate with St. Peter for the rights to the name "iCloud."

Apple had planned to launch its new iCloud product this week. But then its lawyers discovered that God owns both the naming rights and the substance of the concept.

God's response was surprisingly wrath free. "Our iCloud service has been running wonderfully since I can remember," St. Peter said. "And I've been working here forever."

The Saint went on to explain how it works. "We give each of our customers an individual cloud that lets them float around for all eternity. We must be doing something right, because we haven't had a single complaint."

Jobs believes that heaven and Apple can share the iCloud concept. "You just have to look at how Apple and Adobe worked out our differences over Flash," the Apple founder said.

Jobs, whose health has been failing in recent years, doesn't mind making the one-way trip to oblivion. "Just as long as I don't have to fly Delta," he stated.

The Apple CEO is confident that the journey will be worthwhile. "It comes down to negotiating skills," he explained. "I've been pulling the wool over Bill Gates' eyes for years. How hard can it be to out hustle God?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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