Written by Aspartame Boy
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Saturday, 4 June 2011

image for Say goodbye to the office restroom stall
Construction nears completion at Onzipay Paper Inc.

PHOENIX (PoooWatch) - According to commercial real estate mogul, Dr. Onzipay Amegay, the high-walled restroom stall is quickly becoming a rarity in the modern workplace. It's also becoming more common for executives to move out of their stalls and s*it with the rest of the workers.

Welcome to the workplace of tomorrow, one in which we're more likely to s*it closer to our co-workers.

Goal: Festering an environment where workers are more poooductive and pooollaborative, where ever-important natural light shines on the place where the "sun don't used ta shine".

During the recession, many companies downsized stalls even if that meant that larger workers could not position themselves over the toilet. This actually lead to an increase in janitorial costs.

As you can see in the photo, construction is underway, by Dr. Onzipay's crew, to create an open space for a new paper company, one that will encourage "gastric gas discharge eavesdropping," and perhaps help the company get their product to the sewer faster.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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