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Saturday, 21 May 2011

image for International Monetary Fund candidate race hots up
Leading IMF candidate

With the retirement of Dominique Strauss-Kahn as head of the IMF as a result of chambermaid stress, the race is on for a replacement.

While the most qualified successor seems to be financier Sir Fred Shred Bankruuin, because of his incredibly successful track record of destroying banks, the main reason is that he is struggling to live on his £6,000 Sterling a week tax free and needs to quickly supplement this meagre income.

Another emerging candidate is 14-year old schoolboy Thomas Franklin from Westhoughton near Manchester who seems very well qualified and certainly seems to know more about banking (he knows the pin number of his cashcard both backwards and forwards) than the entire bunch of bloody overpaid banking chief executives put together. And he's also a nice kid who volunteers as a helper on a Saturday in his local RSPCA charity shop.

Another late-emerging candidate is the late Cyril Smith MP, who despite his current state of demise, plainly knows more about the current state of the world economy than the economists do.

Finally, candidate number four, and potentially the most likely to succeed, is a piece of timber decking from a hotel by the banks of Lake Lucerne in Switzerland. This is possibly the most politically and financially astute of all the candidates, and will be holding a press conference later today to set out its plans.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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