Written by Hydrogen Balloon

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Topics: Fast Food, Vampires

Tuesday, 17 July 2012

image for Fast Food Places Now Serve Vampires
Fast Food For Vampires At McDracula's

New York, NY-- Some fast food giants have found a new niche market to bite into--vampires. The two biggest fast food chains now stay open to dawn for their undead customers. Vampires don't eat chicken nuggets or french fries, but they do like to slurp a super-sized cup of warm blood now and then.

McDracula's offers a jazzy slurp of blood for their vampire clients called Party Plasma. Party Plasma is a blend of all different blood types from all sorts of people. The blood is blended to a nice smooth texture, and anti-coagulant is added to make sure there aren't any lumps. Party Plasma also has lots of caffeine added to wake up even the deadest of the undead.

Burger Count offers a high-class sip of blood for the more discriminating vampire. Only whole blood taken from Mormons is used. All the blood is Type AB Negative, the richest blood there is. Only free-range Mormons from Utah are used to make the meaty treat.

"Undead Americans are always welcome at McDracula's." said their mascot Macula McDracula. "We don't discriminate."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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