Written by Crystal Clear
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Monday, 2 May 2011

image for Google Shares Rocket on news of Osama bin Laden death
Osama bin Laden in happier days

Today, in early trading, share price for google rocketed on the news that Osama Bin Laden has been killed during a daring raid by US Special Forces.

Since 2001, the US had been looking for a guy, with a beard, on crutches, with one kidney in the mountains of Pakistan. Using most sophisticated surveillance equipment imaginable, the Al-Qaeda leader has until now evaded detection. Last August, an office boy, who was on his final warning for being a waster on the internet, just mentioned to the US President that he had been looking on Google Earth and found this funny looking place, with 6m thick concrete walls just 700 meters from the Pakistan Military Academy.

A security clampdown was ordered. No intelligence was shared with any other country and this discovery was only shared among top US security officials who had only one facebook account and a slow internet connection. A US security official said, "we thought we would have to sack this guy for surfing the 'net and ignoring his final warning". Another official said, "we had to order the clampdown, we didn't want the embarrassment of someone close to the President, a tea boy, coming up with such crap".

After the official press release a spokesperson said that "We had run out of places to bomb, the damned Limeys beat us to Libya and we had to do something, we trawled google earth for ages, and we thought, why not, Pakistan wont mind, and we might get lucky".

After the raid, A Pakistani government statement said Bin Laden's death "illustrates the resolve of the international community, including Pakistan, to fight and eliminate terrorism, We had no idea that he was just 700 meters from our prestigious Military Academy, living in the biggest house, built with 6m thick concrete walls, in its own 3,000 sq yard compound surrounded by walls 14 feet tall with barbed wire on the top, Gosh, who would have thought it".

A Google spokesperson said, "I don't know what all the fuss is about, we supply google earth to every manufacturer of surveillance equipment, still, my pension plan starts to look good. I'm off to get more shares, see ya."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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