New York - As aging, tottering Playboy magazine drags its way into the 21st century, Hef's two sons are poised to take over from where dear old dad left off. However, they realize things have to change to keep up with the times.
"We're like, you know, aware, of the trends and stuff, plus, dad has gone bankrupt like, eight times, so… you know….something's not working.."
Seeing the need to take full advantage of social networking. the new and vastly improved Playboy magazine will exist solely on Twitter.
"There isn't gonna be a magazine as such anymore. Just a Twitter site where dudes can hang out, with direct links to download tons of 100% free hardcore porn. Plus a lot of gaming and links to beer and lube and places to find hot Latina webcams and stuff, basically what horny guys actually do 24/7."
The boys say they briefly considered calling the magazine "PlayTwat" but felt they should be "true to the Twitterverse" and keep their social networking vision on track.
Is this sadly the end of a Grande Era, no more of those stimulating, politically irrelevant articles for intellectually minded pornhounds to pretend they read?
"Well, maybe…I dunno, like, if somebody wants to Tweet a long sex story or something, that could be, like, an article I guess."
The Hefner sons want to assure everyone that all content will be 100% free, nothing to buy anymore, no subscriptions, no checks to write or payments to send in.
"Wow, like, no one has paid for their porn since 1992."
So how will PlayTweet make bank?
"Ads and stuff and we have some vintage bunny outfits on Ebay auctions we're watching pretty close. Plus, whatever junk we can sell off, like the Playboy Mansion , cars, jewelry, hotels, casinos, stuff like that."
The Hefner sons are eagerly looking forward to the launch of PlayTweet. But what does Hef think about the upgrade?
"He's okay with it, I mean, he's busy with his girlfriends and stuff, so it's better this way. Really, what Dad doesn't know won't hurt him."