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Sunday, 1 May 2011

image for Jello Signs Contract With Pippa Middleton For Her Butt To Advertise "Jigglers"
"Watch that wiggle, see it jiggle, smooth and creamy...."

Jello has announced that they have signed a contract with new British media sensation Pippa Middleton. A creative marketing team from the company will fly to London next week to begin filming a new series of "Jello Jigglers" commercials to star Miss Middleton's behind.

Pippa, who became an international household name due to her posterior in a white gown at her sister's wedding, will be paid richly for the commercials. Jello spokesman Jeff Shimmies said that "she's got the perfect build for this sort of thing. We hope to do spots with her in a bikini on the beach, in a pair of tight jeans, in some Daisy Dukes (of course), and in gowns and other dresses. If we can convince her to jump around and play a little beach volleyball in the bikini, I think we'll get our money shot."

When asked why Bill Cosby would no longer be marketing Jello Jigglers, Shimmies said that "no one wants to see a bunch of wiggling wrinkles. A wiggling and well known and photographed bottom on the other hand..."

When asked if there was a specific flavor of Jello she would be marketing, he said that "we were hoping for cherry, but that is probably out of the question."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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