Written by Jalapenoman
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 23 April 2011

image for Dairy Announces "Milk Of Human Kindness" Will Come In Flavors
I wonder what cookies go best with The Milk of Human Kindness?

Borden's Dairy has announced that they will soon be distributing "The Milk of Human Kindness" in flavors such as chocolate and strawberry. They also said that the product will be available as whole, skim, 2 %, and fat free (just like all other milk products). The new drinks are expected to be into grocery stores and other milk retailers by the beginning of the summer.

Smaller bottles will be available in the half pint and pint sizes for use in school cafeterias and lunch rooms and for easy home use. Schools will receive just chocolate, strawberry, and banana to start, but other flavors will be marketed if the product is successful.

When asked why they were making this change after so many years, dairy director Milt Hathaway said that "we wanted this product to be more readily available to people. There is so much hate and distrust in the world right now that we felt producing The Milk of Human Kindness in more flavors might just spread a little love and joy. It should also make the product more desireable for children to drink."

"We are also working with Starbuck's to have our milk added into their restaurants. It should cause less road rage and honking in morning commute and other rush hour times."

Make Jalapenoman's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 1?

3 1 4 23

Go to top