Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Topics: Animals, Strike

Thursday, 21 April 2011

image for Animals threaten strike
The head of the head of the horses union, Arthur Scarglue

The heads of the sheep union, MOO (the Movement against Ovine Oppression), and the horses union, BAA (Brotherhood of Asinine Animals) have joined together to threaten a strike unless certain conditions are met.

Through a human interpreter, Herbert Radish, they released the following statement:

"For thousands of years, us poor animals have been used as slave labour and food by evil humans. We demand that you stop killing us and forcing us to work, and let us roam free. Not only that, but we demand to be fed and have a human clean up our poo every day. Also we want a large patch of land each, all the grass we desire, flat-screen TVs in every sty and stable, and the right to bonk any other animal we want - regardless of species."

"If we do not get what we want, you can expect a lot of trouble. Not only will we poo more often than usual, but we will also refuse to cooperate with our slave-owners. All union members have been told to refuse work immediately, and instead to chant their union's name loudly. Animals of the world, unite!"

Farmers worldwide have ignored the statement, saying that Mr Radish is a trouble-maker who has previous convictions for bestiality and cattle-rustling.

One farmer said, "The heads of the sheep union and horses union would make a nice pie."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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