Written by Jim Jones
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Topics: Food

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

image for Peppridge Farms to Start Producing "Free Range" Goldfish Crackers
Don't eat me!

Peppridge Farms have announced plans to produce "Free Range" Goldfish Crackers.

At a press conference a spokesman announced:

"Peppridge Farm has always been at the fore-front of Corporate Social Responsibility, and we can see the writing on the wall. People are demanding ethically sourced products, and we are going to provide those products. Hence, we are moving forward with our plans to offer Free Range Goldfish crackers."

Organic and ethical foods will be a vital part of a new strategy to engage with the consumers. Given this context, free range Goldfish crackers will be an essential part of the company's strategy going forward.

"There is no doubt about it, the unethical harvesting of fish is one of the most damaging practices in the world. Entire oceans are being cleansed of life as we speak."

PETA has applauded the move, "Goldfish crackers are huge. Everyone eats them. Even some PETA members eat them. Having such a huge and iconic product move towards free-range will undoubtedly put pressure on other companies and products. PETA will support Peppridge Farms by encouraging as many people as possible to buy these new free-range Goldfish crackers."

Peppridge Farms expects the free-range crackers to hit store shelves by the end of July.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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