Written by Ellie James
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Saturday, 16 April 2011

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Fort Worth based American Airlines has filed an antitrust lawsuit against the online travel site Orbitz. American Airlines is calling the travel site a monopoly despite the fact most people probably use Priceline since they have funnier ads that feature a very old Captain Kirk.

Orbitz countered by calling American a "marketplace bully." The federal judge overseeing the case reportedly rolled his eyes and told both companies that they would be in time out if they didn't stop the name calling in his courtroom.

American Airlines then began whining that Orbitz isn't fair and they have lost sales because of the online travel site. "We are suffering mental anguish and it's being passed on to our customers," American said. Again, the judge rolled his eyes and said, "Whatever."

American went on to say that what they really want is for more people to book through their website so that they wouldn't have to pay booking fees to outside sources. At this the court reporter started laughing and the judge glared at her and then started laughing as well.

"What you want to do is make it harder for consumers to see who can give them the best deal. Do you really think people want to fly the friendly skies with you when they could fly Southwest? Is this why you charge so much for a suitcase to fly?" American then looked down and shrugged his shoulders.

At the end of the proceedings, Orbtiz was seen high-fiving each other and sticking their tongues out at American. American drove back to their headquarters in their limousines after getting some Subway sandwiches. The judge went home and booked his trip to Bermuda on Priceline like the rest of the world.

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