Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: Poo, infomercial

Thursday, 14 April 2011

image for Sh-tFloss wins 2011 J.D. Power "Best Of" Award.

Started in a dusty attic in Keyport, NJ, CuloLimpia, Inc. is on top of the As Seen On TV infomercial world, after it's top-selling product, Sh-tFloss wins the coveted J.D. Power Best of Colorectal Maintenance Award for 2011.

"While we are proud to win the award," said CuloLimpia's general counsel Anthony Rosania, "We take the most satisfaction in the email and letters we receive every day from loyal clients who say 'CuloLimpia, my asshole has never felt cleaner.' "

For those that haven't seen the "Floss your Feces" commercials on late-night TV, Sh-tFloss users swallow one end of a gingerbread flavored, condom-tipped, 65-yard long textured string, while the other end is attached to a neck-mounted hook. Within 24-48 hours, the user passes the swallowed end.

"After that," the instructions read, "you hold each end in your hands and, using a traditional alternate-pulling, flossing motion, the user removes dirt, grime, undigested foodstuff and even swallowed Cracker Jack toys in just minutes."

"Once the user is completely cleaned out, he or she passes the Sh-tfloss, feeling as clean and shiny as the day you were born.

Sh-tfloss costs $149.00, and is also available at Woolworth's, Woolco, Kreske and other fine retailers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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