Written by Adam Click
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Topics: business

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

image for Alcoa Can't Wait
Alcoa can't wait! Can you?

Growing ever more impatient, Alcoa, ALuminum Company Of America, today, declared that it can't wait.

"I'm sorry," said Klaus Kleinfeld, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Alcoa, "but we can't wait any longer.". Nicholas (Nick) Ashooh, Vice President, Corporate Affairs, seconded his boss's statement, adding "We've waited long enough! We just can not wait!"

In fact, throughout the corporate headquarters in New York, executives are pacing nervously and the tension can be cut with a knife. "This waiting is becoming intolerable!", declared executive Graeme W. Bottger,who asked not to be identified.

"Everyone here is miserable. Last night I went home and barked at my wife, and we weren't even playing "Bad Doggy"," added someone else. "When will it end?!".

Alcoa, ALuminum Company Of America, now plans on doing something about the issue. "Starting tomorrow, we do something!", said Mr. Kleinfeld. "Alcoa Can not Wait!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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