Written by anthonyrosania
Print this

Saturday, 2 April 2011

image for Southwest's "Breached Hull In Aircraft Discount Program" Put On Hold

Southwest Airlines --the air travelers's absolute last resort-- whose Scratch-and-Dent / Breached Hull Aircraft Discount Program drew tens of new customers to the company, has been told to discontinue the program after a flight made an emergency landing with what passengers described as a 3-foot crack in the fuselage of their Boeing 737.

"I can't believe that we had to fly on a Southwest flight with a gigantic f--king hole in it, just to save a couple bucks," said one passenger. "I can't have assigned seating or a first-class cabin, but I'd like to have a plane without a breached hull."

Southwest said in a statement that the flight crew "discovered a hole in the top of the aircraft."

"In order to keep our prices low, there are certain cutbacks we had to make," said the Southwest Airlines statement. "It is tightening-of-the-belt strategies like removing toilets, using regular gasoline instead of jet fuel, and discontinuing safety checks that allow our deadbeat customers to pay $59.00 to fly from LAX to Las Vegas."

"Even with a broken hull, the 737 has an outstanding safety record," said Julie O'Donnell. "Just not with our airline."

The FAA will continue its investigation.

Make anthonyrosania's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 4?

8 1 16 2
59 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more