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Saturday, 19 March 2011

image for Baked Beans Finally Catch On In France
Barmy Bob's Budget Bastard Beans On Some Toast - Out Of Shot.

UK baked bean producers are reportedly "ecstatic" about an unprecedented surge in popularity in France and are taking steps to dramatically increase the production figures for the humble haricot in tomato sauce. In a tin.

The French have a history of being gastronomic elitists who continually wrinkle their noses up in contemptuous disgust at the very thought of culinary offerings from across the channel.

Even though they eat snails, frogs and horses.

It is thought that the French craving for baked beans originated when immigrants from North Africa living in Paris and searching out cheap nutritious food for their families stumbled across tinned baked beans.

Bob Boulton, MD of Barmy Bob's Budget Bastard Beans explained it thus:

"It caught on when the North Africans - mainly Algerians - latched on to good old beans on toast.Then they tarted the concept up a bit by adding chillies to the beans, and plonking a fried egg on top. Before long, their French neighbours caught on too, and now we're looking to increase production of Barmy Bob's Budget Bastard Beans to a billion tins a week to keep up with demand."

Which is welcome news for the town of Bullocking-Nackersford as Barmy Bob's expansion plans will mean the creation of two hundred and eleven new jobs. Although they will mainly be filled by East European migrant workers in order to restrict the cost of the beans to a staggering 0.10 Euro a tin.

"It's a boost for the town," a local resident told Skoob News. "Things have been pretty slack around here since the sock factory shut down due to stiff competition from the Chinese, and the local goldfish farm suffered a series of break-ins from goldfish liberation activists."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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