Written by Reddon
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Topics: Dancing, knitting, Wool

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

image for Jumpers Coming Back Into Fashion
Part Of A Jumper. With An Apple On It.

Good news for struggling jumper manufacturers, as sales of jumpers started to show a definite upward trend for the first time in 20 years. City analysts are confidently predicting that jumper sales will continue to grow, as jumpers come back into fashion.

This is great news for a sector which for the last two decades has been almost exclusively reliant on the sales of school jumpers, and has seen the once lucrative polo neck market plunge from 'massively popular' to 'virtually non-existent.'

One key factor in the resurgence of jumpers is said to be the rediscovery of a little known musical track by a band called The Sultans Of Ping, entitled Where's Me Jumper!

The song contains the immortal lines:

"Dancing at the disco, bumper to bumper,

Wait a minute! Where's me jumper!"

It seems that the song has become a firm favourite on the Northern club scene, prompting clubbers to buy jumpers, which they sometimes wave in the air, sometimes leave lying about, and occasionally even wear.

The industry remains convinced that before long, the trend will spread nationwide, creating some half a million new jobs in jumpers and jumper related industries. Such as power knitting.

The Chinese are said to monitoring the situation very carefully. Almost inscrutably.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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