Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 25 February 2011

image for Sun/Mercury conjunction, Stuxnet and Gaddafis all blamed for London Stock Exchange glitch
The Footsie plunged amid reports the glitch was really a Gaddafi family heist

London - Billions of dollars' trade were lost this morning as a crippling Sun/Mercury conjunction at six degrees Pisces brought chaos to the LSE floor.

The water sign conjunction has always been a bit of a Bermuda Triangle - especially when accompanied by other, apocalyptic aspects such as tonight's Jupiter/Pluto square.

This morning the stars were in the frame for yet another scalp as the electronic order-driven Sets system ground to a halt.

The Exchange's cyberwarfare division initially blamed Stuxnet amid wildcat rumors of a Gaddafi family raid on the nation's portfolio assets.

Up to $35 billion in UK assets were purloined by the Libyan dictator's family during the Blair government's eleven year madcap reign.

A City of London police source hinted at lunchtime that the 30 minute window of opportunity during the glitch prevented asshole Gaddafi son Saif raiding the nation's ATMs.

Bernard Madoff is serving 150 years.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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