AOL announced today two additional acquisitions in the media industry, announcing they had completed negotiations with WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange, and 'Current TV' founder Al Gore to purchase the companies and add them to the Huffington Post Media Group under the new name "Menage au Trois TV!"
Looking over the 'Menage' will be Keith Olbermann, recently hired by Current for his unbiased, fact finding, and deep thinking political investigative reporting skills, not to mention his ability to get along with staff.
A spokesman for the group, Sean Penn, said that a business plan for the new Mega Media Company has not yet been finalized, but that "it's a good chance it will probably reflect
There is also an undercurrent of intrigue going on beneath the merger, as reports are circulating that Arianna Huffington and Julian Assange have been carrying on a long distance love affair not yet consummated, while Arianna is also rumoured to be enamored of former vice president Al Gore and has been linked by tabloids to the reason for the split with wife Tipper after 40 years.
Huffington, a former Greek(!) with the name family name of Stassinopoulous, ASS for short, emigrated to the UK when she was 16 and later moved to the US where she married Michael Huffington a conservative Republican who was so distraught after the marriage ended in divorce in 1997 he admitted he became a practicing Bi-Sexual, while Arianna
became a wild eyed left wing liberal.
Assange, born out of wedlock in Australia, had at least two step fathers, and spent his years as a vagabond as his mother moved all across Australia to avoid the father of her son. Assange was later arrested for heading a "Hacking Gang" and was spared at least 10 years in jail for his "traumatic" formative years, according to the court presiding.
Assange went on to form WikiLeaks, a world wide organization bent on releasing classified documents in order to embarrass world leaders, out deep cover spies, much to their chagrin, and eventual death, and as a way to meet promiscuous women. Assange has claimed in recent weeks that he is a "love machine" responsible for fathering children around the globe which according to him rivals the current US President's father, Barack Obama, Sr. whose family tree has spread across the globe.
Gore, who has gained at least 200 lbs since his salad days as Clinton's VP, has gone on to rake in Billions using his influence in Washington, access to government capital, and former boyish charm, to head up scores of "Global Warming" scam companies including a firm that received a $500M guaranteed government loan to build a $127,000 2 seated Hybrid sports car that he can't fit into, a hedge fund for "green" schemes, and a host of Hollywood backed social causes including pushing for Saint Hood for Hugo Chavez.
Huffington recently got $315M for her Huffington Post where she relied on 'volunteer' writers to supply content, along with stealing without attribution from UK spoof sites
satirical articles mocking Sarah Palin. Huffington said she had no immediate plans to
'redistribute the wealth' amongst her idealogical contributors.
Terms of AOL's purchase of Current & WikiLeaks has not been disclosed, but reports are AOL will be getting some government funding in the way of earmarks from a contingent of California liberals, and some left over funds from Florida to also build a high speed rail system from Boston to Provincetown as a gesture of support for finance committee member Barney Frank, (D, gay, MA).
A spokesman for Government Motors (GM) said the president and the UAW auto union are firmly behind the move, and promise substantial advertising support to help launch the new network which currently is in 30 million homes, but only has 18,000 viewers, including affiliates with SKY in the UK and Italy.
Adding to the mix is CNN, already eyeing the possibility of buying out Piers Morgan's contract and then selling or trading him off to Menage for whatever they can get out of the deal, even if it's a narcissist to be named later.
AOL stock, which fell by $400m after the Huffington deal, dropped another $1B and is in danger of being taken over by Obama who has promised to wipe out shareholders, vendors, and advertisers who are owed money so the new company 'can compete on an open playing field" according to Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, who also said they would
get tax incentives and a 'holiday' from the IRS for 20 years.
Not yet announced is the government plan for all households not able to get the new channel, to be eligible to pick up 'rabbit ears' at their local cable store, as there are no plans currently for Menage to go to HD, 3D, or digital broadcasting.
Both Assange and Gore, through their spokesman deny any Homosexual tendencies.
On Arianna's part she's only said to close friends, "Politics surely makes strange