Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: Tax, lawsuits, Disabled

Monday, 14 February 2011

image for Unnamed National Tax Preparation Company Violates Civil Rights Of Deaf Employee, Says Department of Justice.

A national company, referred to by Wall Street as Hosni Mubarek of tax preparation retailers, has found yet another way to never settle for less, divert profits away from shareholders, and violate the disabled's civil right in one fell swoop, after paying a $20,000 civil penalty and $5,000 in damages to settle a suit filed under the Americans With Disabilities Act by an employee who is deaf, the Justice Department said Monday.

"Cowardice, in general terms...
is the perceived failure to demonstrate sufficient robustness in the face of a challenging situation. An unreasonable refusal to confront a reasonable degree of fear. The opposite of courage. "

The settlement requires the tax-preparation company to furnish appropriate auxiliary aids, including a sign language interpreter, when necessary to give people hard of hearing equal opportunity.

The settlement falls just short of actually ordering the company to stop offering "Violating Employees' Rights" as an upper-level course for corporate employees and certain field leaders.

"While we believe that no employee deserves 'reasonable accommodation', we will follow the order of the court," someone wrote for the company's CEO to read aloud. "We will reaffirm our desire not to get sued anymore by you people, so, as soon as you people stop bringing your stupid dogs into our offices, we will find a way to accommodate your particular retardation, not only at our tax preparation offices in San Antonio, where the complaint originated, but in our 47 remaining offices, and at our Bank, now with one (1) convenient location nationwide."

The DOJ ordered the company to develop policies on effective communication with people hard of hearing and post the policy on its website, among other things.

"WE ARE COMMITTED TO MAKING SURE YOU DEAF PEOPLE, AND ALL RETARDS, ARE ABLE TO HEAR US, SO FROM NOW ON EVERYTHING ON OUR WEBSITE WILL BE NICE AND LOUD FOR YOU PEOPLE," their website now reads.

"BY THE WAY, WHEN YOU PEOPLE ARE DRUNK, DO YOU START SPEAKING PERFECT ENGLISH, OR DO YOU STILL SOUND LIKE LOU FERRIGNO?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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