Written by Neil Levine
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Topics: Michigan, Family

Tuesday, 30 August 2005

image for Chrysler Wants To Be Your Car Company
Lee Iacocca and Snoop Want To Take You For A Ride

Detroit, Michigan and the Open Road ---Lee Iacocca , his entire family, and Snoop Doggy Dogg, and whomever he is chilling with today, want you to buy a Chrysler Plymouth car so you can enjoy a smooth ride in a smooth car.


"Snoop says its got shnizzle in the izzle," says Snoop. "Yeah, it sizzles while in idle," repeats Mr. Iacocca.


"If the ride is more fly, then you must buy," Snoop tells Lee. "Sky down to your dealer. Buy a car. Then go bye-bye," translates Mr. Iacocca.


"Mocha Cocoa, Let's take a beaucoup awards Lizzie and drive into a tizzie. D-O double gizzle says ya got to hook up nephew, for sure," announces Snoop. " Lee explains, "We'll get a car and take a whirl around the neighborhood."


So, to emphasize that Daimler Chrysler cars are first class, Mr. Iacocca and Snoop begin traveling the country greeting people.


"How ya doing?" whistles Snoop to a passerby. "Hi ya, baby, want a ride," says Snoop to a female passerby. "We're traveling in style. How ya doing?"


On his side of the car, Mr. Iacocca talks to potential buyers and Daimler Chrysler Plymouth dealers about market conditions, which are described as seasonally cyclical. "Well, Chrysler Plymouths are cars for all seasonings and cycles," comments Snoop. "Barbeques, cook outs, family gatherings. Drive ins, drive buys and other short quick hip hop stops."

"Hi Grandpa! Whatcha doing?" asks a young girl.


"We're going to play golf," replies Mr. Iacocca. "We've got a tv crew waiting and we're late. What do you want to do, little Princess?"


"I can play putt putt," says the tiny girl.


"Hop in," says Snoop. "This is a big car," says Mr. Iacocca.


Little girl, "It's a Jeep. I like jeeps."


On the golf course, the little girl outplays her hosts by hitting soaring drives and sinking putt after putt.


Resigned to coming in second to a golf ringer, Snoop Dogg and Mr. Iacocca go back to filming commercials. To wit, "Chrysler has cars made in America for Americans with American hands."


As a sideshow, 50 Cent has made it known he wants to sell cars, too. "I'm a hugely popular and extremely successful hip-hop music artist. My good looks make a good car go like fitty."


"You like?" Snoop says to Fifty. "Come on man, said Fitty, "let's get out of here. This whole scene gives me the crips."


Off they roar into the wild blue yonder, ready to pop up for their next tv spot.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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