Written by Inhopeless
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Topics: Coffee, Starbucks

Monday, 7 February 2011

SEATTLE - Starbucks, the world's biggest coffee people, will expand into the home.

"Studies," said a spokesman, "have shown that after a Starbucks - registered trademark - they go to a 'home' or a 'work'. These people spend nearly most of their day at either of these locations. If we could branch into these untapped sectors, then we could win big-time. People don't want to spend time away from their favourite coffee house. Why not have one any time you please?"

The news comes after the chain expanded the franchise by opening Starbucks within the Starbucks house itself, and also installing a retail unit within the toilets of the houses.

The new scheme, which will start a pilot run in Britain, the second-largest coffee market for Starbucks outside of the US, will build nearly 200 units in every 'home' building and 'work' building. Already several government buildings, including Number 10, the entirety of Whitehall, and the Parliament have all had units installed within their respecting buildings, and several thousand homes in West London have had units installed in their homes.

The houses will sell the same great Starbucks range at even more affordable prices.

As of press time... ah, that triple mocha chocotino. Thanks. There's £5.50.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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