Written by Inhopeless
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Topics: Economy

Monday, 7 February 2011

image for UK to Sell Off Under performing Regions
"... and now for section 2045 of the city's losses"

LONDON - At a press conference today, the government said that ailing regional councils will be sold.

"There are some council regions that are so bad," said Cameron, "that no company would have them."

Although nearly 60 of England's 152 city/metropolitian borough, unity, and county/shire councils are under performing, just the lowest nine will be sold off.

The nine are:
Name (type)
- Liverpool (metro.)
- Walsall (metro.)
- Sheffield (metro.)
- Devon (county)
- Luton (unity)
- Ealing (London metro.)
- Oxfordshire (county)
- Surrey (county)
- Birmingham (metro.)

Many people see this as too much government intervention, however, sadly, this was controlled by the free-market.

The opposition leader, Ed Milliband, agreed with the proposals.

"Liverpool? Scumhole. Walsall? Seriously? That's just Birmingham's rubbish tip. This is the right thing to do."

However, a correction was made, the Oxfordshire county of Cameron will not be successed as "of a free-market decision." Also Birmingham will not be cut off as well, due to the fact that the Cabinet agreed it was 'totally awesome' and had the 'coolest Spoofer Inhopeless' living there.

The citzens of those councils will not be UK citizens, much to the joy of this reporter, as many of his enemies live in rubbish tip... Walsall. Walsall.

The regions will be sold as-is, except from government property, such as military bases and other stuff. Any nation monuments, bases and important stuff will still be part of the UK.

However, to the high amount of red ink sprawled over these councils' paperwork, not many companies have taken any interest within the regions.

However, BP are looking to drill for coal underneath Ealing, so that might go through.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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