Richard Branson has introduced a new service for his rail company.
Rolling out the red carpet at Euston station last night, Mr Branson gathered gave us this statement.
"The new service if for passengers travelling to Europe and long haul journeys within the UK. It will cost the same as a first class ticket but the passenger will be able to purchase additional services when on board the train."
Asked what the service will be named, Branson replied:
"I have decided to call it, HAVE IT AWAY DAY! We will provide Thai massage, bondage, roll play and naughty nurses. Each carriage will have its own theme and passengers can decide what they want. if a passenger wants a spanking, that will be an extra and they will be billed accordingly."
The stunned silence amid the crowd was broken by a voice from the back shouting, "Where do I get a ticket!?"