Written by Ellis Ian Fields
Print this
Topics: business

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

image for Nicole Kidman and Elton John Surrogacy Births Boost Siemens' Profits

A spate of celebrity surrogacy births has boosted Siemens' profits beyond forecasts.

The German company announced that first-quarter profits rose 17 per cent, to 1.79 euros. Revenues were up 12 per cent to 19.49 euros.

EIF News & Features business correspondent Jeremy Clodhopper said: "Well this is clearly the celeb effect. Elton getting his surrogate baby just before Christmas and Nicole Kidman's recent announcement that she's had a baby by a surrogate mum have obviously boosted the semen market.

"There's always a certain amount of copycat behaviour when celebs do something, so that's what we're witnessing here and this has boosted profits in this case..."

(Oh my God! Where do we find these tossers? Siemens, you utterly dim-witted plonker of a dullard hack! Not bloody semen! You're f*****g fired! ed)

Make Ellis Ian Fields's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 1?

8 2 13 11
50 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more