Rabbi David Cohenron, leader of the Jewish Council of Great Britain, has outlined plans to bring an end to the recession and put the United Kingdom back on the world map.
Speaking outside the council chambers, Rabbi Cohenron stated;
"Oye vot a shunder! Dis government! Oye vey! We should be zo happy! No money in der bank, no money under der geleger, no money in der till, vot are dey thinking, We got der gold mine?!
"No vork for der bafelkerung! No milk for der children, vot is mama to cook in der pot?! Oye! forgeta bout it! we fix der problem.
"This is vot we do, listen to papa! Every house in der country vill get der sewing machine. we will make der £2.00 suit and zell it on der market for £5.00. 70 million people make 10 suits a day, we zell them to zer china and by zer time der suit is kaput! Zer china vill be ready for zer new suit! 350 million chinese! That is der deficit paid in one year!, An we are in zer profit!
"We put the gelt into zer bank, uncle has a nice one. get zer interest, an share zer dividend, everybody has zer job, has zer money, has zer house and zer new sewing machine!
Mama can get zer rinderns, papa can have zer bir, children can have der Sis wiv der ice cream. Everyone is der vinner!
"All ve got to do now, is teach 70 million people how to make der suit and use der sewing machine".