George (Ozzy) Osbourne, UK Chancellor, revealed today that at his recent meeting with Jean-Claude Trichet, President of the European Central Bank he had tabled a bid to buy out the Euro for 1 Trillion UK pounds.
The bid is backed by Goldman Sachs and KKR, both of whom have had set backs in the sovereign bond markets with Portugese and Greek paper and desire change.
If the bid is successful all the countries inside the Euro will switch to UK pounds. The new UK notes valued from 5 to 500 pounds will have a picture of the Queen, 2 holograms and a message in Latin which says "we told you this wouldn't work" engraved on the rear.
Greek, Portugese, Irish and Spanish finance ministers back the bid as the change of control will mean a rescheduling of all their debts, However, Angela Merkel of Germany warned "We didn't fight 2 World Wars just to end up with British Money". The French, normally resistant to change, have also given their approval, as this will mean that all French workers can retire at the age of 41 or 39 if they are civil servants.
In a separate discussion, Scottish Finance Minister, Willie Won't-he, has being discussing joining a currency union with the Costa Rican Colon. "Every other currency is a pile of poop," he said "so why not?"
Bid discussions will continue at the Euro-Fin Ministers meeting taking place at the Kruger Game Reserve in South Africa.