Everett, WA - Today Jim Albaugh, President and CEO of Boeing's Commercial Airline division announced at a press conference that delivery of the oft-postponed Boeing 787 Luxury Airliner will be April 1, 2025.
After hearing the collective gasp inside the press conference venue Mr. Albaugh quickly tried to calm nerves of the attendees by stating -that he "personally guarantees that date."
According to Mr. Albaugh, the production of the airliner has been hampered by language barriers with world partners that have been prostituted in order to land lucrative contracts:
"When you go into a plant in Xing Xang, China and see a bunch of assembly line workers staring you down dressed in white jumpsuits, flip-flops and holding leather hammers you don't get the most confident feeling that they know what they are doing."
He also complained that there has been WAY to much government oversight into compliance with building specifications "can't we just slap some wings on that puppy and get her in the air?" was his general comment/question to the press corp.
When asked if he thought this would result in cancellation from airlines that have already placed orders he did not seem concerned "if they want to cancel and go with that pig Airbus let them. I know I wouldn't fly in those air coffins."
As for the state of the current 787 his response will be less than positive for Boeing shareholders "well we have a plane finished. It's just that the plane is in a 3/8ths scale to the original design and the fusilage is made of cardboard, other than that we are good to go."