Written by jd Balderdash
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Topics: Money, Wall Street

Sunday, 14 August 2005

image for Wall Street Journal discovers "Get Rich Quick" formula that really works

298 residents of Baytown Virginia are laughing all the way to the bank after they downloaded and tried Walter Langer's limited edition e-report, "Get rich tomorrow morning". Langer, wanting to prove that his new money making formula works deliberately posted only 300 copies of his top secret report on a local library intranet server in Baytown Virginia, one of them, the 300th copy, password protected.

Former Wall Street Journal reporter Cynthia Lane told readers in her final column,

"Apparently Mr Langer wanted a member of the press to read the next to the last (299th) copy of his report. I was lucky enough to receive it. I tried it, now I unfortunately have to say that this will be my last day working for the Wall Street Journal. Or anyone for that matter".

When asked by Larry King about the income potential from his new money making technique Langer said,

"One junior high student in Baytown grossed 3.7 million his first week of using the formula. That's gross of course. Before taxes".

King also interviewed a Baytown resident, a former homeless person, now multi-millionaire, Jason Rowlings who also tried Langer's formula. Rowlings told King,

"Basically I really was living in a dumpster. Or next to it at least. I downloaded Mr Langer's report at the library, tried the formula and now I'm about to put up my second Walmart Super Center".

The Wall Street Journal says that Langer and all 298 Baytown residents are strangely silent, unwilling to reveal any details about the top secret report. Some sources speculate that Langer, in his report, required readers to sign a non-disclosure agreement, preventing them from revealing any secrets.

Most analysts agree .. there are no magic formulas out there. They say that 99% of all "Get rich quick" sites on the internet are blatant scams designed to make a quick buck. Multi-billionaire, Walter Langer of Baytown Virginia, however says,

"There's one copy left out there. The password to download it begins with .. "R".

The cover of Langer's report shows a picture of a cow. Similar to Gateway Computer's cow. When asked if the money-making formula involved computers or the internet or Gateway, Langer replied,

"The download password begins with .. R"

Baytown Missouri police have been called in to control the crowds at Baytown Memorial Library.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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