Written by Morse
Print this

Monday, 27 December 2010

image for MI5 Contracts Victoria Beckham to Produce Accessory "Spy Inna Bag" Wheeled Carryall!
Close In Detail of MI5 Carry All Scrotum Bag with Waterproof Seams!

Following close on the heels of a sell out of her new line of handbags, starting at $1,500 and topping out at $25,000, a spokesman for Victoria at "Beckham's Bags" announced today a new government contract for a wheeled version of "The Get Away", slightly larger and with expandable sides, for it's new spy disposal system under the code name "Breathless."

With the fabulous success of the original $1,500 bags, they sold out in 60 minutes, and the alligator bags at $12,500 soon following, the line featuring matte calf, ostrich, crocodile, and elephant trunk was an instant hit.

Reports are that precocious Suri Holmes bought one of each during a brief 7 minute on line shopping spree whilst her parents were outside tending their victory garden, and was said to be ecstatic with the 'spaciousness' of the week end' Get Away' where she had set up service for afternoon tea.

Details of the MI5 bag are still classified as 'secret', but some production information is starting to leak out via the internet. According to informed sources, the bag will be constructed of 'faux wrinkled scrotum', feature a self locking device accessed from both inside and out, have 6 well greased ball bearing wheels guaranteeing silence, while the interior has been treated with a space age stain resistant seam sealing material.

There has been no government announcement of the contract price, but with 650 of the
bags ordered, and the break even point set at a mere 5, Beckham's accountant said
"Posh will certainly show a handsome profit with the scheme!"

Sources linked to the KGB said Vladmir Putin is highly interested in the new bags and has sent inquiries to Beckham's Bags with some additional requirements that the bags be lined with LEAD to prevent any 'inadvertent accidents' during diplomatic currier service to the UK.

In order to cut down on costs due to the exchange rate, the Russian source also said
Putin would supply some material from his prized scrotum collection which had the additional benefit of 'glowing in the dark' to aid during late night baggage retrieval efforts at Heathrow.

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 4?

2 16 4 11
56 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more