Written by lordjess
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Wednesday, 8 December 2010

image for Major supermarket chain bans Christmas!
Bah, Humbug!

It was announced today that whilst Flogging Christmas to death in stores since August, the leading British Supermarket Chain has cancelled all leave for their staff over the Christmas period.

Explaining the move, chief executive Mrs Cherry Hehe said their founder was of Jewish faith and in keeping with his beliefs, the need to close over Christmas was no longer in the best interests of the company, or indeed customers.

Research has shown that customers no longer go to church at Christmas and demand something to replace this gap, management also believes that the rate of suicides will drop as people will have some where to go and spend their money and increase their credit bills.

When asked about the feelings of the staff Mrs Hehe said people are quite within their rights to have feelings, "just as long as they leave them at home."

In conclusion Mrs Hehe stated that she and the board wished all their staff a happy Christmas and wished them to know that they are thinking about them during their extended fact finding mission in Barbados.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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