Written by Charpa93
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Topics: Christmas, M and Ms

Sunday, 5 December 2010

image for It's Gonna be a Poopy Christmas According to M & M's Manufacturer

The makers of everyone's favorite candy, M & M's has just released a press report which states that they will not be producing red and green candies this holiday season. Several factors have been cited for the decision.

First of all, the dyes which are necessary to turn the candy shells the bright red and green colors are defective this year due to abnormal moisture in the air. This leads to slightly off colors of magenta and olive green, which the company claims are not acceptable Christmas colors.

In addition, the dying of the candies is outsourced and in all good conscience, with the economy the way it is this season, the makers of M & M's do not want to use outsourced labor when so many Americans are without jobs and therefore unable to buy their product.

It is for this reason that the only color M & M's will be showing off this holiday season is the brown color. "Yes," said Drew P. Dogg, head of marketing for Mars Candies, "we know it's a poopy decision, but in all fairness, it's better to have brown M & M's than no M & M's at all. Besides, the mini M & M's fit perfectly in those little Reindeer pooper toys. There's always a silver lining to anything," said Dogg. "You just have to look for it, but always watch where you step."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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