Written by Neil Levine
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Topics: America, business

Saturday, 30 July 2005

image for What is Good for GM is Good for America
General Motors Wises UP

Dearborn, Michigan--In a clever business come on designed to increase employment, gross income, automotive industry production and the potential for future car sales, General Motors, the Cadillac of the automotive industry, has generously proclaimed to the remainder of the country that anyone can work for GM by merely buying a car. No messy background checks. No questions asked. No license questions. Easy money financing for all qualified purchases, if desired. Just pay for the keys, fill ‘er up and race home.


Any make. Any model. Any color. Just pick a lot of accessories. The more the merrier. Leather. Auto door locks. Personal trim. Vanity mirrors. Furry appointments. Plated hub caps with designer logos. Sun roofs. Moonroofs, too. A back seat bar. Satellite radio. Fully loaded home entertainment systems possible. Private tv. Personal closed circuit video set-ups available, upon request. High speed internet connections can be provided based upon demand. Sleeping arrangements when feasible from sundown until the crack of dawn. You can even put your photo on the windshield or custom adjust the headlights.


Just bring oodles and boodles of cash. Enough to pay the dealer's cost plus a small mark up that would contribute to a decent profit and a sparkling new GM car of your choice will be yours. Ready to ride or, if you prefer, you can see the USA in your Chevrolet. Ask your dealer for details.


If you want to you can take a peak under the hood. See the pretty motor. Hear it purr. Purr, car, purr. Do you like a car that makes noise? If you do, we have cars that can roar. Just floor the accelerator and let her rip. You'll feel you can fly.


You can even kick the tires.

Don't want fo fix things yourself. Purchase a fully guarantee parts and labor contract. Give the car back for a couple of weeks and we guarantee labor on all new factory manufactured GM branded parts.

Don't like driving. We can help you there, too. We can automate 24/7. Chauffeur service and robotic connections available depending on contract.


Just talk to your local GM dealer or visit hotcars on the web.


Your contribution to America's prosperity is going to be greatly appreciated.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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