Written by Bureau
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Economy, Walmart

Saturday, 20 November 2010

image for WalMart Elitists Swallow Their Pride!

After 20-30 years of mocking others, WalMart elitists have been taken down a notch or two with today's rough economy.

"I admit that I used to look down my nose at those people shopping at the Goodwill Stores and the Salvation Army", says one former elitist, Bubba Woodcock. "I guess this is a fitting punishment", he continues while holding up a pair of XXXL briefs that cost ten cents.

The Goodwill stores are buzzing every weekend and afternoons right after school and work ends for the day. A steady flow of shoppers comb through racks filled with second-hand clothes, shoes, blankets, books, magazines, old LP's, chamber pots, VCR's and dishes.

"I remember those days when we'd line up outside the doors waiting for Aldi's to open. Now it's busy busy here", say Ima Jean Bratcher. "There isn't even a store-greeter. How the mighty have fallen."

"The worst part is you go to work and some guy looks at you real close and then asks, 'How do you like my shirt?', stated Elmer Flener. "One guy said his wife made him get rid of it and took it off me. At least he brought me one he didn't like the next day and I gave that little squirt whose shirt I took, back to him. I looked silly in it anyway, with my belly hanging out in front."

"We're always glad to serve the public", stated Friar Hinns of his Church Thrift Shop. "I hear the salvage stores are also cleaning up. But we do need more donations."

Several people actually broke down and cried over my questions, admitting that they sometimes went over to 'Paradise' and run a empty shopping cart through the aisles.

This is Harold B. Frances for the West Coast Post!

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 5?

5 7 20 1
57 readers are online right now!

Go to top