Written by P.M. Wortham
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

image for Carpet and Drapery Companies Merge; Male Customers Excited
An empty canvass with which to paint the perfect match of carpeting to drapes.

Long thought to be an interior decorating problem if the home or apartment owner was looking for a singular Bauhaus or Feng Shui look, the problem was solved last month as Mohawk Carpet and Bush Drapery companies completed their merger.

"It was difficult in the past to find a carpet style and color to match the actual draperies, but we can now control fabrics, yarns and dyes and offer our customers exact matches", says the new Mohawk-Bush marketing Vice President, Ginger Topintails. "Our male customers seemed to be most pleased at the merger announcement and have flocked to our new line of color matched products".

Offering a new series of soft to the touch cut-pile and textured carpeting, with long and flowing drapery options, Mohawk-Bush doesn't seem to have an open slot available in their in-home estimating date book. "Our most popular color combination seems to be the Natural Blonde, followed closely by our Auburn Sunset color line", says Topintails. "The demand has been quite exciting".

Early customers seem pleased with their purchases. Long time bachelor and real estate developer, Lou Baldman comments, "I've never had the carpet match the drapes before. It's quite perfect actually and completes the look of the room, but the maintenance is a bit more that I had anticipated". Baldman described how the colors tended to fade a bit and need regular dye touch ups to keep the original look. "It is a side effect of using softer natural fibers and natural dyes", says Topintails, "but a quick steam cleaning with our dye additive brings the colors back time and time again".

Topintails also announced future plans to produce color matched wood floors for those who don't care for carpet. The bare floor product line will be called the "Brazillian".

Make P.M. Wortham's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 1?

2 21 6 5

Go to top