Written by P.M. Wortham
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 14 November 2010

image for Walk a Mile in Bernie Madoff's Shoes
A nice set of criminally acquired Ferragamos, yours for only $50

And they're nice ones too, barely or never worn, averaging about $350 a pair each. Among the personal possessions being auctioned off from the Madoff estate are more than 200 pairs of his casual and dress shoes. Provided you're a size nine and a half, you can actually walk a mile in the shoes of one of history's greatest scam artists.

While Madoff made off with untold millions in investor money, wiping out retirement funds, pension funds and even the personal investments of people who were supposed to be his friends, he had amassed a treasure trove of clothing, shoes and jewelry. Nothing cheap of course. You can't look like a Wall Street messenger boy when you're bilking your friends out of their life savings. And Bernie did look good, so now you can too.

The auction continues through this week, though some of the best items, including his wife's 10 carat engagement ring, are already gone. Then again you would have needed close to $600K to pick up that little bauble. But shoes? Those are averaging out at auction for a mere $50 a pair. It might be worth the 50 bucks even if they don't fit. Hang them on a wall. Add some overhead accent lighting. Keep them as a reminder to trust almost nobody when it comes to your own personal finances. You might not actually want to wear them at all. Bad karma and all. Walking a mile in Madoff's shoes just puts you in jail, and there's a reason the slang term for jail is "Pokey".

Thanks for the nice Ferragamos, Bernie. You might want to keep some extra Vaseline on YOUR shelf though. We hear it helps during the break in period.

Make P.M. Wortham's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 1?

8 12 3 6

Go to top