Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 3 November 2010

image for Stuxnet behind London Stock Exchange crash
The Footsie plummeted while Iranian laptop repair companies soared

London - (Bull**** Market): By lunchtime yesterday the suspected 'glitch' had repositioned the Footsie Index somewhere below the international junk bond market's fire sale trading register.

And re-routed the LSE lavatories' aircon systems into trading floorspace.

Security pros who worked on removing the malware said today they suspected it was behind the LSE outage that saw shares in publicly listed Iranian laptop repair companies sore (sic).

The virus targeted the Exchange's flagship Turquoise trading system, trigering an automatic sell-off of UK spyware detection stock.

Last month it caused the Royal Navy's flagship submarine HMS Preposterous to come a cropper off the Isle of Skye.

LSE CEO Xavier Rolet has staked his reputation on a successful roll-out of the Turquoise technology.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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