Written by P.M. Wortham
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Monday, 1 November 2010

image for Paranormal Activity App Released for IPhone

Based on existing infrared camera technology built into IPhones and new tracking sensor software built in, consumers can now search for a ghostly presence in their homes and on the road.

Riding the popularity wave of three separate cable television programs, Plausible Encounters Incorporated developed the new application software and claims that it will capture shadow and light movement, along with low frequency sound normally attributed to a ghost's presence.

Skeptics were quick to point out that just about anything can be interpreted as a "ghostly presence" and that alone feeds the paranormal frenzy we typically see around this time of year. "I mean, what old building doesn't creak and make noise?" asks ghost debunking specialist, Myron Neenoze. "And shadows can be caused by just about anything, even the flicker of an old lightbulb". Just then, Neenoze jumped back and yelled, "Oh my God, did you see that?" Replying in the negative, Neenoze looked back at us and said, "Neither did I, but that's all you have to say apparently to get your own cable television show. Well, that, and look like a geeky spaz".

After the original press release for the new Paranormal Activity Phone App, one former employee of Plausible Encounters came forward to disclose that the company had actually built moving shadows and light flickers into the programming to make any filmed image look haunted. "I mean, they could have done so much more if they designed the ghosts to be like, hot and nude instead of globs of shadow and light. Lack of vision for sure, dude". No word from the Plausible Encounters executives of they feel that this oversight will affect App sales.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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