Written by anthonyrosania
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Friday, 29 October 2010

image for New Yemenese Printer Catridges Run Out of Explosives Too Quickly, Say Customers
Charmin's new business model included branching out into other paper-related products, to the company's detriment.

Angry picketers demonstrating outside of a Holmdel, NJ Best Buy echoed the sentiment of most users of the new Yemenese printer cartridges: The explosives run out too quickly.

"This is bullsh-t," said white-supremacist Ivan Tadooya, who purchased an Yemenese HP cartridge for $43.99, which he attempted to use on a mosque in Lower Manhattan. "I used it maybe 10, 15 times before the 'Replace Explosive' alert popped up on my computer."

"Sure, you save a bit of money on the Yemenese cartridges, versus ones from, say, Afghanistan," said Reverend Fred Waldron Phelps, Sr., he of 'God Hates Fags' fame. "But you get so many more fallen-soldier's-funeral bombings out of them, so it's worth it."

"Customers have every right to be angry," said a public relations spokesperson for Best Buy. "And that is why we will soon only carry American-made incendiary printer cartridges."

"Thank God for that," said Mildred Smoots, who goes through 5-10 printer cartridges a week package-bombing abortion clinics in the Midwest and South. "It'll be nice to know that, when I am sending baby-killers and heathens to eternal torment and damnation in Hell, I'm also supporting American businesses."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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