Written by P.M. Wortham
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Tuesday, 26 October 2010

image for Madonna, Dennis Rodman to Open Fitness Franchise
The Madonna robot, just one workout routine at The Virgin Worm

Truth being stranger than fiction, Madonna announced her partnership with former NBA star Dennis Rodman to launch a new series of athletic gyms across North America. With a franchise working title of "The Virgin Worm", both principles held a press conference in Mexico City earlier today to announce the details.

Assistant to Madonna and personal trainer, Cindy Steelthigh says, "It will be an unconventional gymnasium with unique training methods. Madonna prefers a stage floor crawl in a restrictive white wedding gown, a' la her breakout "Like a Virgin" appearance at her first Grammy Awards. It's a great workout for the butt and upper thighs".

Denis Rodman will focus on creating cardio programs for men, including something he calls "Chase the Starlet Around the Hotel Room". "It's quite a workout for the legs as you chase one of our woman aerobics instructors around a maze of furniture. Dennis swears by this training method."

No word yet as to what the annual membership fee structure might look like, but rumors are circulating that you must also agree to purchase Madonna's complete musical archive. Mr. Rodman reportedly has nothing of value to sell.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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