Written by The Medium Cheese
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Friday, 22 October 2010

image for Age Defying Cream Flop
Katherine: Not happy with the results...

Global chemical giant Splurge Inc has withdrawn its QN7 age defying cream from sale in western countries.

QN7 first went on sale in 2004 and was said to be the world's first cream that actually made people younger. Hollywood stars were the first to take it up and its use became widespread across the USA and Europe.

It wasn't until 2009 that side-effects started being noticed among frequent users, including 33 year old actress Katherine Futon Jones (pictured) and John Bravolta.

"Initially, the cream made me look 10 years younger" said Jones, but after using it for four years, I realised I was having to put more and more on my face each morning", she said.

"One day I decided to leave it off altogether just to see what my face is really like. I was horrified to discover that I have aged about 83 years in the last 48 months. I blame this misfortune on QN7"

A spokesman for Splurge Inc admitted that there had been some complaints from customers, and said that as a precaution it was being withdrawn from sale in countries whose legal systems were sufficiently developed to pose a threat to the wealth of shareholders.

He continued, "however, we will continue to market QN7 in countries where old looking people are trendy, such as Bosnia. We have changed the label to say that it makes you look much, much older. Oldness is a status symbol in some countries, and we see a long and successful future there".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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