Written by Jalapenoman
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Wednesday, 8 June 2005

The fourth Little Piggy has filed a discrimination suit against the Arby's restaurant chain due to their refusal to serve him a roast beef sandwich. In a press conference his cousin's house made of bricks, the Pig said: "I was hungry and just wanted a sandwich. They had already sold my brother a meal and I walked in to get one for myself. I was wearing the required shoes and shirt and I didn't smell bad. I had money to pay for my lunch. They just plain flat out told me that they would not serve my kind and asked me to leave."

"Everyone in nursery school has heard my story. "This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy had roast beef, this little piggy had none, this little piggy went wee, wee, wee wee, all the way home." My embarrassment has become a story to tell small children while you play with their toes."

David Mouthpiece, spokesman for Arby's, gave an official response from the company. "We allow the handicapped to bring in their guide companions such as seeing eye dogs without any problem. This, however, was not the case in this instance. The restaurant did serve his brother, as he said, but that pig went through the drive-thru. We didn't know he was a pig until he reached the window. As he didn't come inside, no health department laws were violated. Several local sanitation codes were broken with the other pig walked in through the front door."

Pork Pig was interviewed on the set in Hollywood and was upset at the restaurant's actions. "Th-th-th-th-that's terrible! I c-c-c-c-can't believe they did that! That must have been emba-ba-ba-ba-barrassing to that p-p-p-p-poor p-p-p-p-piggy."

The Reverend Jesse Jackson also released a statement in regards to the events. "As leader of the Rainbow Coalition and a victim of discrimination myself, I am appalled by these actions. Help the Hungry Hog! Prevent Pork Prejudice! Serve Starving Swine! Please Placate Poor Pigs! Arby's Actions Are Atrocious! How much of my famous alliteration do I have to use to get my point across?"

The third little piggy, who stayed home during the whole ordeal, refused an interview in person and would only speak over the phone. "Number four better watch his back", he said. "If he isn't careful, Arby's will turn him into ham sandwiches and extra bacon on a Market Fresh sandwich. He'll drop this if he doesn't want to end up as pork rinds. I don't go out anywhere because I don't want to be Sunday dinner."

The preliminary hearing will take place Thursday at the County Courthouse. Afterwards, the defendant has invited the court reporter and all those in the gallery out for pork chops and hot links.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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