Written by Morgan Truce
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Saturday, 21 May 2005

image for Saddam Hussein Signs Underwear Deal with Calvin Klein

NEW YORK - Calvin Klein announced a three-year deal with Saddam Hussein in which the former Iraqi dictator would appear in a series of advertisements modeling fashionable underwear. "We want to show the world that every man can improve his image by wearing our underwear. While it is true that Mr. Hussein could be made unavailable at any moment, we wish to show that even a man who is about to climb the gallows can do it in Calvin Klein style. What better way to show the world that you care about hanging right?"

From his secret jail cell somewhere in Iraq, Saddam spoke with Spoof reporter Morgan Truce. "Morgan, thank you for coming to my humble palace. First I want to tell you how much I appreciate all the photos you have taken of me in the past several days. I think it is important for all my Bath Party supporters to see that I am still in pretty good shape and keeping my underwear clean. You know, I really didn't like those pictures that were taken of me right after I was pulled out of that spider hole. I needed a shave and a shower. Now that I have settled down in my little palace, I have plenty of time to tidy myself up."

Morgan Truce: "Mr. Hussein, what do you plan on doing with all the money you will be making from your new deal with Calvin Klein?"

Saddam: "Well, that is going to be only two million dollars over the next couple years… just peanuts as you say. I have many billions of dollars stashed away that I use to keep the insurgency going. I don't really need the money from Calvin Klein. I just like the idea of showing the world my magnificent physical condition and how sexy I still am in my underwear."

Morgan Truce: Are you working on any other deals with Calvin Klein?"

Saddam: "Yes, as a matter of fact. Calvin Klein is bringing out a line of designer nooses. I sure don't want to wind up going to the gallows wearing just some ordinary run of the mill rope around my neck. A Calvin Klein noose will be fitting for a man of my stature and importance."

Morgan Truce: "The whole world will be waiting to see it!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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