Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 14 September 2010

image for UK Workers Quitting In Droves As Employers Try To Take Advantage Of Recession
Sod That - I Might As Well Sit At Home All Day Watching Jeremy Fucking Kyle

Newly released figures reveal that British workers are quitting their jobs in droves this month, as unscrupulous employers attempt to cash in on the recession.

After two years of being badgered, treated like shit, chopped and changed all over the place and constantly reminded by arse holes who think they're really something special that they're lucky to have a job at all, in the current financial climate, tens of thousands of plucky Brits have had enough.

And are telling employers to stick their fucking jobs up their arses.

British workers have had enough of being constantly undermined by out and out twats who tow the corporate line in the mistaken belief that they may actually one day get a life, and threaten their charges with the dullard mantra that there are plenty of people out there who will do their job for less money.

With zero benefits.

Probably under the auspices of an employment agency.

"I handed my notice in today," one confided. "I was off work last week and when I returned, my departmental manager had to ask me how to spell "shits" as he filled the paperwork in. How dumb is that? I've told 'em to stick their fucking job, and I'm going to buy a hooded top and a pit bull terrier in the morning. Providing the fucking bank hasn't gambled all my money away. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

Controversial fare indeed for the CBI, the Bradford Index inventors, the Kai-San people, and the corporate "talking absolute politically correct bollocks company speak" wankers to absorb.

The future is bright. Or maybe shite.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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