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Monday, 24 October 2005

image for Jimmy Buffet will succeed Warren Buffet as CEO of Berkshire Hathaway
Fan's photograph taken just prior to getting nailed in the face with Jimmy's beach ball

Omaha- The Berkshire Hathaway Board of Directors has completed its yearly conclave during which it discusses possible successors to its immensely wealthy and effective CEO-Warren Buffet. Mr. Buffet will turn 75 soon and had previously expressed an interest in retiring. The Board has decided that Mr. Jimmy Buffet, a nephew of Warren, will take over the reigns of the company in 2006.

"Jimmy Buffet is, in his own right, an experienced and successful entrepreneur. He has had an enormous impact in the entertainment business, which any one can tell you, is very difficult," said Bob Laub, one of Berkshire's board members. "Last year only 4 acts in the music business made more money ($36.5 million) than Jimmy. The Board is extremely impressed with that. We think he will bring that force of willpower to Berkshire and we are very excited."

Jimmy Buffet (59) received a degree in English Literature from the University of Chicago in 1968; followed by a J.D. in 1970 from Harvard University. In 1972 he received an MBA from the Wharton School.

Jimmy was made aware of the decision of the Berkshire Board by way of a cell-phone call to his hotel room in Waikiki. Jimmy and his "Coral Reefer Band" had played a three-hour show just the night before at the Waikiki Shell. "Wow, Man. That's very cool! Berkshire Hathaway-isn't that out in Pennsylvania? I think we already played there. Kind of cold. Who is this again?"

The news that Warren Buffet has decided to retire comes as no surprise to Wall Street. Mr. Buffet has amassed a personal fortune of more than $40 billion dollars, second in the world only to Bill Gates. "I am getting a bit old for all this," said Buffet. "There isn't any way I can spend all that money now-even if my wife and I go on the most 'over-the-top' cruises. No way, I told her. Too rich for my blood. And then the Wife wants one of those RVs that kind of looks like a bus, you know what I mean? I put the kibosh on that though. Gasoline is just too damned expensive! 'We need to have enough for our medical insurance, Woman!' says I. One thing's for sure though: I will start collecting on my social security as soon as I can. No way I'm not taking my share of that. I've been paying in to that for years now and I intend to get what's mine."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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