Written by Noddy Bigears
Print this

Tuesday, 26 April 2005

image for Saudi Arabia vows to boost Sunscreen oil production - but Kyoto would prefer Americans lose weight
Many US Citizens Feel They Are Being Burnt To A Crisp By Sunscreen Oil Prices

Saudi Arabia, the world's leading Sunscreen oil exporter and producer has announced a $50 billion plan to massively expand its Sunscreen oil production in what U.S. officials described as a ‘very ambitious' attempt to stem the boiling oil prices.

Many citizens around the world are being very badly burnt by the rocketing Sunscreen oil prices and are even trying home made alternatives including peanut butter and sun flower oil. Medical experts have issued strong warnings not to try the home made remedies but to seek expert advice.

Crown Prince Abdullah, the Saudi CEO and supreme Sunscreen oil ruler, presented the plan to President Bush during talks at the president's ranch but is expected to demand complete control of the US military forces in exchange for the deal. US President Bush had loaned his Middle Eastern friend 300,000 US troops to search for Sunscreen oil in Iraq but only found Water Melons in the Desert (WMD).

As US Forces Commander, Billy Bertinski, commented, "Sure, water melons can quench your thirst and satisfy your immediate political needs but they cannot be used to stop us from being really badly burnt by these surging Sunscreen oil prices which really hurt the US political peace process."

So what is the problem of being burnt by the sun? Well, it appears from a press release from the FDA that "Sunburn accelerates the aging process, which then shows as wrinkles and a pebble stone appearance of skin and this appears over time. It is can be also responsible for the increased risk of cataracts and skin cancer."

Around 15 percent of U.S. Sunscreen oil consumption comes from Saudi Arabia, according to the Energy Information Administration. However, when the White House was quizzed about trying to adhere to the Kyoto treaty whereby the average American would have to reduce their weight by 25% so that they would use less Sunscreen oil, President Bush said "This is not a politically acceptable solution" and added "in any case, the FDA recommends reapplying Sunscreen every 40-80 minutes so the actual saving will not be that great."

Other environmentalists did not agree and insist that for every 5% in weight reduction production there is a direct proportional effect on the required level and size of Sunscreen oil MPV required and the total consumption will be also dramatically reduced.

Make Noddy Bigears's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 3?

3 20 22 9
29 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more