Written by Bertram Chapley
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Topics: Birmingham, giant

Monday, 18 April 2005

BIRMINGHAM , UK - In a last minute deal administrators of the failing car giant Rover have brokered a deal that will mean car production will continue in the Black Country. Price Cooper Waterhouse have announced that a joint venture between John Delorean and Sir Clive Sinclair called Over has been successful in their bid for Over to take Rover over over the next few day's.

In a flash back to the 1980's a hybrid variant of the Sinclair C5 and the Delorean Sports car will secure some of the jobs which were due to go at the massive plant at Longbridge. The car will be known as the Over W8 and is based upon the successful Reliant Robin chassis.

The first cars will be powered by the Hotpoint Aquarius 900 belt drive and comes with optional Economy Wash Cycles and short spin. There will also be a 4 wheel drive off roader powered by the Black and Decker Rotary Cutter engine which gives the W8 a top speed of 1200 RPM.

Initially the car is only available in White as they have only managed to secure one roll of sticky back plastic to cover over the washing up liquid bottles.

"We have bought a considerable amount of the Midlands based factory." said Sir Clive "In fact we intend to take over the whole ground floor of the canteen if we become successful, they have left in the tables and the trays come in handy as bonnet lids for the new car."

"As when BMW sold Rover in 2001 we are handing over a tenner for the business. John has just nipped off to the Minibank now in a C5. He'll be back sometime tomorrow" said an excited Sir Clive.

They are also to announce shortly that Over are to team up with European car giants Wartburg and Lada which will enable development of the replacement of the Over 45.

The Over 65 (codename Darby and Joan) will have a maximum speed of 30 MPH and come with a free bus pass and Zimmer frame rack as standard. There are no cup holders but a nice little Walnut Veneered Pipe Rack is a low cost optional extra as is the Commode seating.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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