It was announced today that British Petroleum has petitioned for the release of Bernard Madoff to assume the Presidency of their company. The rising costs of the petroleum disaster, now at 3 billions, necessitated this move.
In a statement issued to the press, BP commented, "It is just too much money for us to raise, Bernie is the only hope we have of raising that amount of money. We intend to look the other way as soon as he is released."
Well known law firm, Dewey, Cheatem and Howe, filed the petition and told local press that they expect an answer later on this week.