Wilbur Ford, President of the Edsel division of Ford Motor Company, announced today the sale of the Edsel brand to European automaker Peugeot. The sale, if approved by Ford stockholders, will be the second division of Ford Motor Company to be cast aside in a major downsizing effort recently.
It was only last month that Ford announced the end of the Mercury brand after years of slow sales. "All the blue hairs who bought Mercury's have died off, it seems," said Mr. Ford, "and after that compromise health care bill passed in Congress we, as a company, came to the conclusion that that these customers wouldn't be with us for long anyways. Such is life."
With only three of the original seven-teen hundred Edsel stores still in business, Wilbur Ford thought the time had come to put the iconic brand out of it's misery. "Three stores selling only a couple or so of the remaining original Edsels models per month was no longer financially feasible," Mr. Ford said. "That still leaves us with over eighty-eight thousand of the original 1958 to 1960 Edsels to dispose of. We're thinking of dumping about seventy thousand of them off the Florida coast. They'd make great artificial reefs for divers and would create new underwater protective environments for fish. Plus, according to our accounting department, there would be something like a two billion dollar tax write off to boot."
Peugeot, with the help of the French government, has agreed in principal to purchase the remaining Edsels. "We like quirky stuff here in France," said Michelle Bagel, president of Peugeot. "Plus, compared to our latest designs, these sixty year old Edsels look positively stunning."