Tesco is to be sold for £1 after it has emerged staff in Cardiff have been giving credit or 'tick' to family members for the past 4yrs.
Bankers stated the fraudulent situation would of been manageable for the odd loaf or pint of milk but since the advent of Tesco 'Extra', flat screen TVs, cars and even houses bought on tick have left the retailer licking mortal wounds.
The scam was uncovered on a routine visit to St Mellons Tesco in-house bakery which was found to be printing money as opposed to baking fresh bread. The counterfeit cash was then sent using the air powered 'bullet system' to cashiers to pay for goods including vast swathes of Barry in south Wales - famed for average sitcom "Gavin and Stacey"
Tesco's share price meanwhile has dropped from £4 to an incredible £0.00000000000000000000000001p meaning the average shareholding has gone from the equivalent of the worlds oceans to a glass of cloudy brackish water.
Many stockbrokers are so appalled by the situation they have boiled themselves in acid rather than jump out of the window - leaving some skyscrapers with a dangerous slant.
Tescopoly campaigner Bethan Davies said it would mark a welcome return to village shopping.